I like this poem, even though I'm not entirely sure what it is about. I just like the essence of the mystery of what is out there O_o... lol.
There once was a man, a holy man, who traveled to the sea.
He beheld its might, its will to fight, and shouted out with glee.
But as darkness came, to end his game, the man shook suddenly.
On that night, a grusome sight, taxed him a priceless fee.
His faith was swayed, a choice he made, an outcast, horribly free.
Sometimes I wonder, "What happened to that holy man who traveled to the sea."
But more importantly,
What came back from the sea, and as I write, approaches me.
I like this poem, even though I'm not entirely sure what it is about. I just like the essence of the mystery of what is out there O_o... lol.
Heheh, that is really interesting!
You have a great idea to start with, but it has just a few issues. Your rhyme scheme makes reading the poem a bit jarring--it isn't smooth. Read it aloud, and you may see what I mean. Also, in S6 your rhyme scheme changed, and that really sounded strange:
Sometimes I wonder
What happened to that holy man
Who traveled to the sea
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